2. We only had the opportunity to see one another

On the bus home, Carol used WeChat to link up by video with her parents in their apartment in Shanghai. Later she told me her mother was concerned because, at the age of 23, she still had no boyfriend. All her other friends of similar age back in China were already married and had started their families. I laughed, saying that she was still young. My advice would be that she should concentrate on her studies, carve out a niche in a career of her own, and only then take on the responsibilities of marriage.

I had seen the excellent role models given by my other Asian friends, during the brief lives they spent here at Southampton University, then later in their home countries after graduation. They had all waited to meet the right person before thinking of becoming engaged and marrying. Only later did they start a family. Much like my own parents had done in Southern Africa.

Promiscuity never played a part in my Asian friend’s lives, unlike the attitudes prevalent at the time I attended University in the 1960s and 70s. My time at University coincided with the hippie movement when free love was advocated. Sexual mores dropped with the introduction of freely available contraceptives. Subsequently, the deadly HIV-AIDS pandemic hit promiscuous revelers. Fortunately, the Worldwide Church of God did help me by their strict rulings to protect me from the scourge of AIDS! Later when I became free of their stranglehold I began to think for myself. By this time the source of HIV AIDS had been discovered and the precautions I took prevented me from falling prey to this viral infection. It was difficult to treat, but best prevented by using barrier contraception. The use of condoms, both for male and female, was recommended for all sexual contact. I followed this advice. I always used condoms. Blood tests for HIV AIDS antibodies were frowned upon because Insurance Companies considered that if their prospective customers asked for a test, they must fall into a higher risk group. As a result, people did not ask to be screened. Thankfully there is no such discrimination now.

All my young Asian student friends appear to abstain from sexual contact and serious relationships until after they have married. They enter marriage as virgins. This is a wonderful thing to aspire to. Carol seemed to be following the same pattern.

Her music studies kept her busy all week so we only had the opportunity to see one another at the lunchtime concerts on Mondays and Fridays. Vũ and Carol would later meet at the University Highfield Interchange at 6 pm to catch the U1E bus to Eastleigh. I had shown both of them the route. They could, therefore, become independent and not have to rely on the other if they had to visit me on their own.