Saturday 18th July 2015

Last night I was eating a large supper with Hiển, when my music theory teacher, Roger Hansford, phoned me with the news that I’d passed my grade 6 music theory exam. The pass mark is 66%, I achieved 70%, he was pleased, although I had hoped to get more, at least a merit, i.e., over 80%. A merit would have meant double the points I’ll need for my application to enter University one day.

Roger is a young PhD music graduate of Southampton University. I found him via my contacts at the University with the staff I’ve got to know over the years. His main instrument is the piano, but he also plays the clarinet. Roger is giving me both piano lessons as well as music theory lessons. He recently married a GP and they’re expecting their first baby in September. He has become my music role model. We enjoy each others company so much, laughing all the way through our lessons. It’s a wonder we ever get any serious work done, but we do!

I started playing the clarinet about five years ago after a caseworker was discussing my respite needs with Pam, my late wife, and I. Pam asked if she could have a saxophone. After a lot of thought I asked to be able to get a clarinet. The Princess Royal Trust for Carers donated these instruments to us.

Unfortunately, Pam stopped playing the sax not long after getting it. I enjoyed playing it and wanted to continue to learn it, but while I was away in hospital for a six week period, I found on my return that not only had she’d sold it but she’d left me to go to live in Cape Town. I’ve written about this  in my book in more detail.

I applied for a Dayas Scholarship, a piano based scholarship primarily intended for young people to give them piano lessons. In an unusual move they awarded one to me.  It allowed me to take clarinet lessons. The day before being admitted to hospital I received this news. Although it was not a large, it started me along the path of taking music lessons. Ever since the first lesson, I’ve never looked back, never regretting any sacrifice I’ve had to make to pay for lessons. Mom and Dad have also continued to give me help in paying for lessons or exams at times, but I like to try to do it on my own, by making my own sacrifices.

Now I have clarinet lessons, piano lessons and music theory lessons. I attend two bands, the Southampton Grad Band and the Warsash Training Band, a piano club and the Eastleigh Fusion Choir, all intended to help me get a better grip on music so that one day I can successfully apply to attend Southampton University’s Humanity’s Department to study for a degree in music.

During term time I usually attend the University’s free lunchtime concerts that they have twice a week. These have opened my ears, teaching me a great deal over the last half decade. At these concerts I’ve met many students, some of whom have become close friends. One Vietnamese young man, Hiển, who is studying chemistry, visits me every week on a Friday evening. We prepare a meal and have other friends also visit to enjoy making our meals together. My kitchen is tiny, nonetheless we all manage to fit in and play our part in contributing what we can. I have learnt much about Eastern cuisine, however, we all learn things from the Internet, our main source of information, or so it seems. Nevertheless, both Hiển and I use our noses to cook. No! I don’t mean literally cook them, but we use our sense of smell to test the food we are preparing, as well as taste, to tell what will go with what, making up as we go along, not always relying on any set recipes or recipe books.

I shop and prepare all my own food. I virtually never go out to eat at a restaurant or buy fast-food takeaways. What I eat I prepare here at home. I’ve taken onboard what my mother and aunt have said about vegetarian foods, though we also eat fish and poultry. I love seafood, eggs, duck, chicken and all vegetables and fruit. I love trying new things, some I like, others not. Though most of my diet consists of vegetables, fruit to a lesser degree, because I don’t like the plaque that builds up on my teeth when I eat some fruit. I only drink soy or almond milk. As it’s rather expensive I use it mostly with raw oats for breakfast, mixed with sultanas and blueberries, when they’re in season. I make some of my own spreads, like hummus. In the UK we’re spoilt having olive oil available at a reasonable price.

I’m definitely a “night owl,” going to bed mostly after midnight after Skyping Mom and Dad, then pottering around until 1am or 1:30am, sometimes even as late at 3am. I usually sleep at least 6 hours. I’m pleased on those few occasions when I do get 9 hours, though it usually makes me feel sleepier and I don’t get as much done.

Apart from music, I’m editing a book Mom wrote about her life in Africa before they emigrated in the year 2000. I’m also involved with another book that a young fifth year medical student has written in Johannesburg about Wits University’s residence, the one that we both lived in. His book is a history of its origins besides covering the last 50 years of the residence. I find it rather difficult to edit books. With my own I could write what and how I liked, but with someone else’s, I need to stand back, be objective most of the time and not impose my stamp but let their style shine through.

I don’t watch any TV, I simply don’t have time for it, I get all my news from our excellent BBC radio services. I mostly listen to the informative classical music radio station, BBC Radio 3. At times I find it hard to drag myself away from their programmes. If there is important world news, there is alway the Internet to delve into to find out more, though I find most articles are a disappointment so don’t usually bother! I’m sure many would laugh at my cocooned attitude. The TV coverage I’ve seen in the past can often be insular covering mostly British local topics, with little positive world news.

I enjoy traveling on the University bus services where I meet interesting students from all parts of the world. I introduce myself to them as well as showing them a copy of my book. A number of them even find innovative ways to contact me after reading it. They want to find out more information or have their questions answered. One medical student was taking an elective art course and painted my portrait in acrylics using the photo on the back of my book. Here is a photo he sent me in April 2014:

Portrait of me by John Erskine

He offered to give it to me, but before he could do so we lost contact.

I enjoy making friends and chatting to new acquaintances. I don’t let mental illness become a barrier or stigmatise me. I use it as an intro or “chat-up line!” Trust me!

The Department of Works and Pensions, who provides me with the bulk of my income assess me every 6 months. Because I’m unable to find a “regular” job, instead they insist I work as a volunteer. I help out as an usher at the Point, our local theatre. As my exams drew nearer I asked if I could stop volunteering to focus on my studies. Eventually they understood and agreed to allow me to stop working.

To raise the extra cash I need for my music studies, I use water sparingly the way I learnt while doing my military service in South Africa, preparing for desert conditions. I save the water that runs until the hot water comes out of the shower. In addition I save to the water I wash my hands with or the vegetables and fruit reusing it to flush the toilet. Seldom, when I’m on my own, do I need new water to flush the toilet. I was surprised to see how much water I used when washing my hands!

Another way I save money is to shop near closing time. Our supermarkets have ridiculous ways to label their fresh foods. It is all marked with a “sell-by” date. If it isn’t sold, it is thrown away! Unlike in South Africa where supermarkets, e.g. Pick’n’Pay, donate it to charity. My closest supermarkets is a 5 minute walk away so I visit it at 6:30-7:30pm (they close at 10pm) and have the opportunity to buy the choicest marked down items. For example a hot whole roast chicken that usually costs £4.50 is sold at that time for £1.13, an amazing markdown, I think! Other vegetables or fruit are marked down by less. Buying roast chicken is a rarity for me. I usually cook all my own food. I go into the shop at that time with no thought of what to prepare for supper, then depending what’s on offer, I decide and make a late supper.

The vegetables that have wilted can be revived if placed in a tumbler of water for a few days or at least an hour or more until they crisp up again. I find that cooking often dehydrates the food in much the same way that they experience when they go past their best. I do wish I could alway use garden-fresh fruit and vegetables but as an urbanite, without a garden, I have to make do. I have an important passion to study music, so something’s got’a give.